Breaking News
Updated May 6, 2004

BUSH: IRAQI PRISON SCANDAL RAISES NEW QUESTIONS ABOUT KERRY’S WAR RECORD

Promises Iraqi People Vigorous New Attack Ads

Speaking to the Iraqi people last night, President Bush vowed that he would respond to the Iraqi prison scandal with a vigorous new round of campaign ads attacking Sen. John Kerry (D-Mass).

“In a democracy, it is important to have transparency, and there is no one more transparent than I am,” Mr. Bush said.

Mr. Bush promised the Iraqis that he would spare no expense in producing the new attack ads and said that the abuse of Iraqi prisoners had raised fresh questions about Sen. Kerry’s Vietnam War record.

“As you saw the abhorrent images from Abu Ghraib prison, I’m sure that you were asking yourselves the same question I was: why did John Kerry throw away his war medals?” Mr. Bush said.

The speech to the Iraqi people culminated a busy day for Mr. Bush, who earlier in the evening announced that the U.S. had invaded Michael Moore.

Mr. Bush said that the invasion of Michael Moore was “a last resort” after the filmmaker repeatedly refused to destroy copies of his latest film, Fahrenheit 911.

The invasion, which the Pentagon is calling Operation Shut His Piehole, commenced in the southern region of Michael Moore, with troops expected to reach the Oscar-winning director’s mouth in a matter of days.

But according to retired General Wesley Clark, securing Michael Moore may prove considerably more difficult than invading him.

“It’s important to remember that Michael Moore is approximately the same size as the state of Texas,” Gen. Clark said.




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